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jinkies i lost my glasses!

-velma in every fucking episode of scooby doo like damn bitch get contacts (via gnarly)

When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.

-A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States (via dutchster)

thatfunnyblog:

this is so terrifying
tastefullyoffensive:

[doghousediaries]
remember to drink lots of water, because your insides are a swampy bog and a water shortage would affect the local frog population
twloha:

“Please, be proud of the pieces that make you, you. Embrace the oddities and hold onto them with everything you have. These strange little quirks belong to us, and only us, and they are all absolutely vital in creating the bigger picture that is who we are. Be proud of yourself, because if you are, it never matters who else is. Because when you are, the inevitability of other people believing in you and being proud too, is such an amazing bonus to the strength you already possess.”
(via Tyler Knott) 
Someday you’ll find the right person, and you’ll learn to have a lot more confidence in yourself. That’s what I think. So don’t settle for anything less. In this world, there are things you can only do alone, and things you can only do with somebody else. It’s important to combine the two in just the right amount

-Haruki Murakami (via ohlovequotes)

5000letters:

bible-jpg:

Jenny Holzer

My arrogance knows no bounds and I will make no peace today, and you should be so lucky to find a woman like me 
Wake up early. Drink coffee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up. Do well, live well and dress really well. Do what you love, love what you do. It is time to start living.

-Thank you for the reminder. Needed to read this. (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

dion-thesocialist:

Welcome to my twisted mind. Behold this picture of a white woman smoking. Lay witness to some pastel flowers. So fucking twisted.

boundunbound:

peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

realest thing i’ve ever read

fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

I just wanna have abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks

tsunamiwavesurfing:

i seen someone on here say “daddy spank me like an almost empty ketchup bottle” and since then i just been usin a knife to get the sauce out the bottle

princesswetkitty:

bridgemcgidge:

shercockandmycrotch:


everyone needs a waving snail on their blog

i feel that if I scroll past this and don’t reblog it the snail is going to look to the ground and cry

that comment
im sold
gotta do it now


this is the infamous snail from adventure time. apparently you can find this guy in every episode if you look hard enough. i’m too lazy to look tbh